Sunday, 15 May 2011

Penis cake...and all the related puns.

*Language and adult theme alert. Don't read on if you're my mum.

For my sister's hens night, I thought what better way to contribute than to make a cake in the shape of a big veiny penis - if only for the related puns of 'go eat a dick', 'mmm this penis tastes so good', and 'I want that in my mouth' etc etc.

Although the title of my blog suggests otherwise, I won't just be featuring items I have sewn, but rather all the things I have created - hence the inclusion of cock cake.

So here it is...

To make this cake you will need:

Three - four packets of homebrand vanilla cake mix (or any variety) - make up according to packet.
A loaf tin (for the ahem.... shaft)
A heart shaped cake tin (For the, how do I put this... ballsack)
Icing sugar
Red and yellow food dye
Icing bag and tip

I used homebrand vanilla cake mix cause it's about 79 cents a packet and I'm cheap, but feel free to burn your money and use a name brand.

Step one:Mix up the packets of cake mix according to the directions. Fill the loaf pan and the heart shaped tin with the mixture and put in the fan-forced oven at 180 degrees until cooked, so approximately 20 minutes. Keep checking with a wooden skewer until it appears cooked.

Step two: Put both cakes on a cooling rack and wait until they are completely cool before performing the next step.

Step three: The sculpting begins!Use the loaf cake to cut into using a serated knife to form the shaft and head shape. If you want some inpiration, I'm sure you could google the word penis and lots of sites would come up. Then once you are happy with the shape, get the heart shaped cake and cut off the pointy end to make a flush edge to stick the shaft shape.
You can trim the tops of the cakes off if they have risen uneveningly.
Use an icing sugar mixture to stick the two pieces together.

Step Four:Mix up some flesh coloured icing sugar using a few drops of yellow and a few drops of red. Trial and error with this process. (Also, I only know how to make a caucasian flesh colour so appologies if you wanted a black one Chris Brown style, don't know if they make a loaf tin big enough Hey-oh!). Once you have a skin tone you are happy with, ice the whole cake making sure you cover the seam where the two cakes have been stuck together.
Using the same batch of icing if you have any left, add some more drops to make it darker, put the icing sugar in the piping bag and ice around the edges.
Get creative, whack some veins on that bad boy!
I used grated chocolate for pubes. Yum.
You can get candy lettering from the supermarket which I used to write a message on there as well.

You can refridgerate it if it's hot otherwise it will melt. Keep it in a plastic cake holder, you'll need a large one for this big boy!

You can make this for any occasion really, a hens night, a stag party, grandmas birthday, whenever the occasion calls.

It was really quite delicious and all the girls loved eating it.. I guess you could say it 'went down' really well....

Om nom nom...

xoxo Tricky

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