Tuesday, 28 June 2011

The time I ruined Christmas...

(Awesome drawings by Maria Lewis - aka Movie Mazz. Totally made me look hawt. She has her own blog for all your warm-blooded movie love which can be found here.)

Sometimes, there comes a time in a woman's life where she fails horribly at something. For some, it happens rarely. For me, it happens frequently and generally revolves around trying to make food. Here is my sad tale about the time I ruined Christmas....
For some stupid reason, I thought it would be an awesome idea to construct a gingerbread house for Christmas. I always wanted to be a builder when I was a kid, until I realised I have weak girls arms and hate manual labour but I DO love gingerbread - so it was a logical step to combine my former childhood dreams and my current desire to mung out on gingerbread.

I had grand plans of a multi-level construction with a mezzanine, A-frame roofing - the works. So I trundled off to the supermarket and bought close to $50 worth of lollies and other ingredients to create this monstrosity:

(note how 'clean' everything is...)
I hear you saying, "Hey, Kate, don't be so hard on yourself, it somewhat resembles a house and I'm sure it's of sturdy construction..." False... it is not.

After about 5 hours of baking, decorating and generally putting my heart and soul into my creation, I turn my back for one second and hear an ever-so-gentle, barely-audible thud. Before I even had the chance to turn around, I knew.... My life-long dream that I'd had since that morning was dashed. My roof had collapsed - and so had my dreams.

Being the cool, calm, undramatic type, I let out a blood-curdling "Noooooooooooooooooo!" and dropped to my knees in despair. In true lady-like fashion, I was gracious in defeat and punched it... I punched the gingerbread house in it's stupid gingerbread house face, cracking the shits in vintage Kate style.

I take things really well.

Lucky for Manny, he got to eat A LOT of gingerbread rubble that day... and for the rest of the week....

That is the last time I try to do something festive. Bah-humbug! (seriously, what the fuck does that mean... quick, somebody Google it..)

Tricky xoxo


  1. But Kate, you didn't tell us how to make this!

  2. I clearly can't tell you how to make it, if I failed so horribly in making it...

  3. Yet you still brought your punched up gingerbread house to Christmas lunch and offered it around?!?

    Then we all took turns punching it.

    Thus, saving Christmas.