Monday, 19 September 2011

I call him, Happy Sandwich. But you may call him Mr Sandwich.

You have to be specific if you ask me to make you a sandwich. Otherwise you will end up with this:

I call him 'Happy Sandwich' because he is clearly happy to be the safest kind of sandwich, an inedible one. He is free to live forever without the fear of going mouldy or being eaten, that's definitely something to smile about, hense his slightly smug grin.

Here's what you will need:

- About six felt squares in various sandwichy colours
- Cotton and thread
- Scissors
- Stuffing

The entire thing has been hand sewn so no need for a machine.

Step one: Cut out 4 x bread shapes. Plus some lengths of brown felt for the crusts
Hand sew one length of the crust to the bread. Keep going all the way around.... 

Then sew the other side of the bread to the crust like so...
And then you have to flip it the right way out, whack a little stuffing in there to give the bread it's fluffiness, then finish the rest of the stitching to fill the gap.

 I know I wanted some kind of meat in there, so this was established to be some kind of devon slab, but you could create any kind of meat you wanted. Perhaps a nice pulled-pork, or ham, or even bacon strips!

Time to build the sandwich. This project makes you especially hungry for a sandwich. Add some cheese. The orange felt looks like Old English.
                                Add some tommys, for colour.

                                Some lettuce for greenery...

Followed by another piece of bread following the directions for the first few steps. Stitch each layer together as you assemble the sandwich, quite roughly, as noone will be able to see it, and so it doesn't fall apart when someone inevitably picks it up to eat it thinking it is indeed a real sandwich due to it's uncanny likeness.

Put a little smiling mouth and some eyes and you have your very own Happy Sandwich! Yay!  

View from the side: Does this bread make me look fat? Sidenote: If you have to ask that question to begin with, than yes, you are too fat. If you were skinny, you'd be hungry and you'd be asking for a sandwich...

Looks cute, although it serves no real purpose and will probably just sit in your spare room gathering dust......
Or you could give it to a homeless guy instead of money for booze, and he can trail it around behind him on a leash or something equally as crazy, cause that's what bums do.

                                                                   Om nom nom.....

                                             Tasty... And I'm sure the sandwich is good too.....
Tricky xoxo

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